30 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Baby Names of All Time

From Apple to North to Spurgeon and many, many others compiled here, celebrities sure pick out some hilarious names for their kids.
Not all of them, obvi. Some go the conventional route.
But this is Hollywood, and well, we have no shortage of options while putting together a gallery of unintentional hilariousness like this.
Let's just say that.
There sure as heck are a disproportionate percentage of little kid names that are straight up ridic, head-scratching, LOL-worthy selections.
Check out the 30 most absurd ones given by the most absurd people now and be glad they make enough money to afford good therapists:

1. North West

North West. The spawn of Kimye being named after a direction may be the dumbest thing in human history. At the same time, if she doesn't grow up to have a signature fragrance called North by North West, this is not a planet we wanna be living on.

2. Kyd

Yes, Kyd. David Duchovny mailed that one in worse than his alleged acting on Californication.

3. Kal-El Cage

Nicolas Cage named one of his kids Kal-El, a fact not related to him being wasted out of his mind in this mug shot ... although that could explain a lot of things.

4. Spurgeon

Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald's baby son Spurgeon is named after Charles Spurgeon, an influential Baptist preacher from the 19th Century. It also is the subject of an awesome page on Urban Dictionary, and will probably make lil' Spurge glad he's home schooled later in life.

5. Rocket Zot (or Ayer)

Avatar star Sam Worthington's baby name choice for his first child with wife Lara Bingle Worthington - Rocket Zot - was chosen because they liked the way it sounded. That makes two of them ... and probably not a whole lot more. Honorable mention to Pharrell Williams' son Rocket Ayer.

6. Reign Aston Disick

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick went relatively conventional with their first two children Mason and Penelope. For the third, however, they opted for a name fit for a Lord: REIGN Aston Disick. If only his dad weren't the deadbeat Lord of six different rehab centers.

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7. Royalty

Also going the regal route (and the unmarried one): Chris Brown has a baby with a model named Nia Amey. Her name is Royalty. Yes, #ROYALTY.

8. Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart

Rapper Chief Keef, who also goes by Keith Cozart, named his newborn son this mouthful - yes, Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart is correct - to promote his album release last year. NOTE: The album did not crack the top 100 on the Billboard charts. We're guessing the baby name won't break into the top 1,000,000.

9. Apple Martin

Ironically, Apple is both the name of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's daughter and likely the name of a food item forbidden in some rich crazy-person diet she probably follows.

10. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale

We got nothing.

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11. Bear (Kate Winslet and Alicia Silverstone)

Not only did she torture us with The Reader, Kate Winslet is making her newborn's life terrible with Bear as his name. Alicia Silverstone chose this name too. And she chews up Bear's food for him, which is also interesting.

12. Royal Reign

Move over Kourtney and Chris. Lil Kim also got in on the regal action ... twice over! She named her daughter Royal Reign! 

 

13. Blanket Jackson

Blanket Jackson is not actually the name of the youngest child of Michael Jackson. It's Prince Michael Jackson II ... not to be confused with Prince Michael Jackson I (also pictured). As for his nickname, he was wearing a Blanket while MJ dangled him over a balcony. Good times.

14. Jermajesty Jackson

Jermajesty. Michael's brother Jermaine outdid him with that one.

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15. Suri Cruise

Suri Cruise, the child of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, is a bona fide cutie. Who will have to spell and explain her name approximately 10 times per day as an adult.

16. Moxie Crimefighter

Moxie Crimefighter is the daughter of Penn Jillette. She is destined for a career as a determined, clever, unflappable law enforcement official. Or just a lot of ridicule.

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17. Tu Morrow

Actor Rob Morrow named his daughter Tu. GET IT? That's either a great play on words or the dumbest thing ever. Maybe a little of both.

18. Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone

Hunger Games star Jena Malone welcomed a son with her boyfriend, photographer Ethan DeLorenzo, in 2016 and named the little guy Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone. An ode to a new mountainous level of parenting? 

 

19. Pilot Inspektor

Pilot Inspektor is the son of Jason Lee. That spelling you are reading here is accurate.

20. Princess Tiaamii

Princess Tiaamii is the daughter of busty British babe and reality star Katie Price. We feel bad.

21. Denim

Toni Braxton named her kid Denim. Apparently "Polyester," "Suede," and "Cotton" were taken.

22. Diezel

Toni Braxton makes our list not once but twice after she named another son Diezel. Either she botched the spelling of Denzel or she's a really big fan of efficient but dirty fossil fuels.

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23. Bronx Mowgli

Bronix Mowgli, the son of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, is named after a borough of New York City AND a Jungle Book protagonist.

24. Broncs Weston

Teen Mom 3 star Mackenzie McKee named her third child Broncs Weston. The dad is a rodeo rider, so ... we guess that kind of explains things. 

 

25. Maxwell Drew Johnson

Jessica Simpson named her little daughter Maxwell. Perhaps she is trying to overcompensate for giving her an old man's name by putting her in this bikini.

26. Destry

It's unclear if Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw's daughter Destry was supposed to be called Destroy (or perhaps Destiny) in honor of some of the film legend's greatest sci-fi works, only to suffer a birth certificate snafu for the ages. But we like that theory.

27. Banjo

Banjo, the son of Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor, is not only named after a musical instrument, but probably the most absurd one to name a kid after you could think of. With the possible exception of oboe.

28. Destiny "Miley" Cyrus

Yes, Miley's real name is Destiny ... which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but Billy Ray and Tish probably guaranteed she'd become a stripper someday with that moniker. Of course, perhaps no name could've prevented the train wreck that is the last three years of her life.

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29. Saint West

Yes, Saint West. You would have to be on crack to name your kid that if you were a normal person, but for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, mere royalty will not do. What's even grander and more iconic than a king? A F--KING SAINT.

30. Dream Kardashian

Saint and North have a newborn cousin as of November 2016: Rob named his first-ever child DREAM Renee Kardashian. Yes, Dream. More like a nightmare ... and probably an even bigger one than his relationship with Blac Chyna at the moment.